Dear Snickers

30 Dec


Dear Snickers,

You are my favorite candy bar. I love you to pieces. What makes you or any other snack worthy of return visits by any consumer is consistency. We want the same deliciousness in every bite and in every package, and we trust that when we sink our teeth into you, our taste buds remember why we came back to you. In my case, the perfect blend of nougat topped with caramel and peanuts, covered in smooth milk chocolate. My mouth waters just thinking about it.

But last night, I bought myself a king size. And after my first bite I was a bit confused. I looked around to see if anyone could see the look on my face. After my second, I knew someone at the Snickers factory screwed up. I looked at the wrapper just to make sure it was a regular Snickers bar. I’m not sure if you put too much caramel in it, or cooked it too much or too little. I’m not sure if you forgot a certain milk chocolate ingredient or added another. But if you could find that person, give him or her a raise! What melted in my mouth last night was better than any other Snickers bar I had ‘Patrickchewed’ before. Something was off, but it was a good off. No. Great off! I guess you might as well screw up good if you’re going to mess it up. I know you may never be able to recreate it, or find whoever was responsible for the yummiest mishap ever. But from the bottom of my hunger satisfied stomach, I just wanted to say…
Thank you.

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Posted by on December 30, 2014 in Food, Rants


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